partner:you be the teacher ill be the student ;)
    me:okay
    me:write an essay on whether theatre architecture of a particular period always reflects that period's culture. i want it on my desk by monday
    partner:oh no but... thats such a hard essay... is there anything i can do for extra credit? ;)
    me:no
    partner:but professor.... surely then i could... persuade you to extend the deadline...? ;)
    me:no
    partner:so... what do you want, professor?? ;)))
    me:an essay on whether theatre architecture of a particular period always reflects that period's culture. on my desk. by monday

catesstrophe:

today a dude slammed my finger on accident because he was closing a metal drawer i had my fingers in and i was on drive through and i literally screamed into the headset and the lady just kept ordering her drink as i was trying to hush down three different LOUD MEN SAYING “OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAND”

she just kept going 

i screamed into a headset and she just kept going

    guy ripping my movie ticket:enjoy your movie
    me:you too

urcr:

when u wanna watch Netflix but there’s nothing 2 watch so u just kinda sit there looking like a confused ostrich

"I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday."
- Lemony Snicket (via feellng)
    waking up:haha fuck

officialunitedstates:

you’re brushing your teeth when suddenly your mint toothpaste tastes like eggs. do you

a)  power through and continue brushing
b)  wash your mouth out
c)  go to your fridge and get out the eggs and bite one to see if it tastes minty

ridge:

do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed 


Is being gay a choice? [x]